CalmDepth Guides · No. 11
Cool
water.
A recipe for cooling
- One simmer, spotted early
- Cold water, hands and face
- Ten minutes of rest
- One honest sentence
A guide for when anger runs hot.
Lumi's Lanterns · Anger
Tap to turn→
Start here
Anger is
heat with
a message.
Anger is a normal, useful feeling. It often points to something that matters to you. The skill is simple: cool the heat first, then read the message.
This recipe card has four steps. Each one turns the dial down a notch.
Cool water02
Step 01 · body · notice
Spot the
simmer.
Heat is easiest to cool early. Learn your own first signs, so you catch anger while it is still a simmer.
Early signs Ingredients
- Warm face
- Tight jaw
- Busy hands
- Faster words
Cool water03
Step 02 · body · 2 minutes
Cool the
body.
Run cold water over your hands and splash your face. Step outside. Walk briskly round the block. Shake out your arms. Let the heat move out of you.
Cool hands, cooler head.
Cool water04
Step 03 · routine · 10 minutes
Let it rest
before serving.
Good recipes rest. Step away with a kind promise: "I need ten minutes. Then I will come back to this." And then come back.
Rest is not walking away. It is coming back cooler.
Cool water05
Step 04 · writing · 5 minutes
Read the
message.
Once you are cooler, ask: what matters to me here? What do I need? Fill in the card, then say it calmly when the time is right.
My message Serve calm
I feel frustrated
because plans keep changing,
and I would like a heads up next time.
Clear, kind and true. That is anger doing its best work.
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Put it together
The whole
recipe.
Cool Water Serves one · 10 min
Ingredients
- Your early signs
- A tap, or fresh air
- A ten minute timer
- One honest sentence
Method
- Spot the simmer.
- Cool the body.
- Let it rest, then return.
- Read and share the message.
Keep the card where you will see it: on the fridge, by your desk, on your phone.
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Follow the path · the recipe box
Seven cards,
in order.
01Cool WaterCalm Now
2 min
2 min
02Cooling the HeatMeditation
5 min
5 min
03What Anger Wants You to KnowJourney
10 min
10 min
04Anger That ProtectsJourney
10 min
10 min
05The Space Between WordsChapter
10 min
10 min
06A Kind ReplyChapter
10 min
10 min
07Staying Steady Around Difficult PeopleCalmTalk
16 min
16 min
Cool water08
Remember
Cool first.
Then speak.
Your anger carries something worth hearing. Cooled, it becomes clear, calm and strong.
Start day 1
Next: Good company
CalmDepth Guides09